In psychoanalysis, "castration" is rarely about the physical act; it is a symbolic term for the recognition of limit. To be "castrated" is to accept that you are not everything, that you do not possess the "Phallus" (the ultimate signifier of power or wholeness), and that you cannot be everything for another person. This realization is the essential "work" of love. Without this symbolic wounding of our narcissism, we don't actually love a person; we merely seek to consume them as an extension of ourselves.

notes that "emotional castration" can be toxic when used as a weapon to invalidate or destroy a partner's sense of self. Breaking Fantasies

This is love work because it rewires the brain’s pleasure centers. Initially, the lack of direct reward feels like punishment. But over time, the submissive finds a deeper joy: the joy of being used by love, of being a tool for another’s happiness. This is the alchemy of castration turning lead into gold.