My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off

You look down. The water is crystal clear. Your legs are pale and exposed. Your swimming trunks are gone, swept away by the invisible, merciless current of the drainage system.

: Many men choose to wear boxer shorts or spandex underneath their trunks to provide support and prevent full exposure if the outer layer is lost. My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off

The water was lovely. The sun was warm. My $12 novelty swim trunks (featuring a pattern of rubber ducks, which now feels bitterly ironic) were loose, comfortable, and buoyant. You look down

My brand-new, ocean-blue swim trunks had been sucked into the bowels of the municipal water system. I stood there, frozen in waist-deep water, as a toddler pointed at me and asked his mom, "Why is that man white all over?" Your swimming trunks are gone, swept away by

Wade (with crossed legs) to the side of the pool. Wave a lifeguard over quietly. Say these exact words: “Excuse me, I seem to have lost an article of swimwear to the filter. Can you shut off the pump for 30 seconds?”